Ohene Cornelius: Confessions of a Working Actor Father

By Ohene Cornelius, lead Actor in 'Brown Baby'.


As I sit in this swank Union Square bar, being bought a drink from my very single "Kick Ass" scene partner (JH), in the midst of fun, I remind myself I have to go home in 10 minutes.  Going home at 7pm is the only way I can go home with enough time to spend with my son, before he plops off to sleep, and perhaps talk to my exhausted wife who after working tirelessly to meet the bills that I may or may not be able to pay, wants to just sleep. 

(In between great movie and television projects I've done low paying theater jobs that feed me greatly artistically and minimumly finacially, merely because Broadway hasn't called yet. And because I made the commitment and sacrifice now to focus on my craft, until my name has been solidified in the genre I have the burden of financial uncertainty) 

Needless to say not the type of glamourous life I thought I'd be leading.

As I restlessly log on to Facebook, and breifly think about my career in it's current state, I'm told there are access problems so, no Facebook. I turn on the tube. Get out my lines and study. Fiddle with my guitar. Look up and it seems hours have passed by but in actuality it's been 30 minutes since all have went to sleep. I think about that 19 year old girl that gave me her number to "talk acting," and shake my head no. I become consumed with grief for a second. Why in my twenties have I had to slow down with my selfishness? 

(My son was fun to make, but oh so unplanned. I was fearful of the time I had to spend as a serious artist wouldn't allot for much time and space for a child. Plus I figured my turbulent past wouldn't allow me the skills to properly be a positive father/husband figure)

I enjoyed being selfish. Looking out for myself. I didn't truly get to be as selfish as I thought I would be. I thought by now I'd be smoking pounds of herb and having orgies with women who only saw me as a dollar sign. The last sentence makes me giggle and to the advice of my parents, my manager, and SAG, I look to the positive. 

I have started a family with a beautiful woman I love. I have a child who shares my genes and my face. I am in a house, I got cable and internet, and a place to rest my guitar and head. The thought of sleep makes me sleepy. I peak in to make sure my son is breathing, slide into my bed, turn on the tv and put on the newest episode of gossip girl that I have DVR'rd. Dosing off I think about the arguments me and my wife have had, some as recent as hours ago, with me losing my temper and her hurting my feelings...Money and time are usually the issue. 

(When one has worked their whole life to survive, your immeadiate survival does not become an issue, once a ceratin level of success is reached... You've reached your neurological thermostat. Thus one seeks happiness through the risks of dreams, because they have realised they can survive if they falter... This is a mechanism that makes failures or futures). 

I'm still learning how to balance goals, Short term vs. Long term. (i.e.) having a sane and productive creative life that comes from within for within and a creative life from within made for, not myself, but the greater good and cause. 

Rubbing my eyes. Audition in the early AM. Rehearsal. Work. So for now, I slowly nod off as Chuck and Blair's interesting love ensues. Talent doesn't do it alone. God give's you only as much as you can bare. Rome wasn't built in a day. Dedication to excellence. Do not let anyone decide your future. Be an active participant in your career. Sleep.

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